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How do we help someone if we ourselves are so drained?



  • This is one of the questions submitted by our community during our recent event on the theme of mental health. To open the question up to the rest of our community, we are posting this on their behalf. If you have the answer to this question, reply in this thread so that your knowledge or experience can benefit someone else.



  • @ourbetterworld I don’t think we can do much then. Therefore, self-care is important.
    However, we can always guide the person to someone who can give him/her a helping hand.



  • @yanlingpinko True that, especially the self-responsibility part! We agree that the first step is choosing to allow others to support us. Having the right people in our lives can help us regain inner strength, especially when we've totally run out of internal resources. It can also sometimes takes an overwhelming effort on our part to reach out.. but is also necessary to an extent πŸ™‚

    Imagine if we were drowning: it could be because we haven't learnt the proper skills to swim, or we are too fatigued to stay above water. That's when we have to allow someone else to dive in and help us. On our part, we have to make that choice to allow that person to support us instead of fighting against their help. And then, when we get back to dry ground, we can commit to improving our swimming skills. Is this what you had in mind? πŸ™‚


  • Community Admin

    @yanlingpinko I totally agree with taking responsibility for our own mental health. Although I do think that when we allow others to support us, they DO help us cope. At least that's my experience. But yes, totally on the same page with you on taking responsibility.



  • @ourbetterworld people can support each other however the reality is that NO ONE IS TRULY HELPING ANOTHER. The Truth is that WE can ONLY HELP OURSELVES and ALLOW OTHERS TO SUPPORT US. Hence, you have to take care of yourself first irregardless.

    Every person who have been on a journey to recovery, whether that be mental health or physical health will ALL tell ya that if WE DON'T HELP OURSELVES FIRST, NO ONE ELSE CAN. Because it is only when we prioritize OURSELVES and PUT OURSELVES FIRST. HELP OURSELVES GET BETTER, then we can start to ALLOW OTHERS TO SUPPORT AND GUIDE US IN VARIOUS WAYS. We ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE. And Self Responsibility is super important in times of drained moments.



  • Great question! Something we are also figuring out ourselves πŸ™‚

    A standard response would to practise self-care. But truth be told, it can seem like just another item in our evergrowing list of things to do. Sometimes, taking time out for ourselves and doing things not on these to-do list can seem selfish or a waste of time. But we'd like to emphasis that self-care is not selfish. We can't pour from an empty cup and even our phones need to recharge their batteries and can't run on empty πŸ™‚

    Maybe this is a good opportunity to evaluate what items we need to prioritise in our lives?


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