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Mental Health

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  How should family members respond if their loved one recently told them that they have been diagnosed with a mental health condition?
  • thetapestryproject.sg  

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  What happens if the mental health professional we're seeing is not suitable?
  • thetapestryproject.sg  

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  What is the difference between a psychiatrist, psychologist and counsellor? Who should we turn to for help?
  • thetapestryproject.sg  

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  If a friend with mental health issues does not reply to us or want to respond when we reach out, should we still continue to check in on them?
  • ourbetterworld  

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  Absolutely! Perhaps the tricky part is determining how much is too much.

  If your friend has specified that they would like to be left alone and given some space, do respect that As people with lived experience, we find that it helps when people drop us an occasional text or does something that lets us know we aren't forgotten. Unfortunately, we might sometimes feel the pressure to respond, which makes us want to get into hermit mode.

  But this isn't necessarily reflective of everyone and will depend very much on context and the unique dynamics of each relationship and each individual's personality. Please don't take our lack of response personally... and please don't give up on us. We're doing our very best and want to be better friends once we are able to.

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  How do we convince our stubborn parents to stop being in denial or trying to rationalise how their children feel if their pride is set in stone and they refuse to take it seriously?
  • ourbetterworld  

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  This is a really tough question.

  We're not experts, but we can certainly relate to how frustrating it is when people don't hear what we have to say, or when they invalidate our struggles. This might be more about parents being in denial, rather than being unloving or unsupportive. This doesn't excuse their words or actions, but perhaps in their worldview and prevailing attitudes of their time, sometimes children can be seen as a measure of their "success" as a parent. So to see their child struggle is a personal failure.

  It isn't easy changing their mindsets, but one thing we can perhaps shift is our view of them -- that they do not intend to be hurtful and are also struggling themselves. In the meantime, we hope you're able to get support and emotional validation from other sources like siblings, friends, or school teachers and counsellors.

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  Is it possible to find true love when you have a mental health condition?
  • thetapestryproject.sg  

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  For better or for worse?
  • tammiecharitytan  

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  It heartens us to see that your friend has the support of someone that genuinely cares for her wellbeing and it sensitive enough to know how your words can affect her. The first step to supporting a friend with depression, or any sort of mental health condition is to be patient and open-minded to honest conversations. If you're worried that your firmness might be causing her to feel worse, then try asking her directly how your words make her feel without expecting any reply of any kind. Encouraging this sort of honest back and fourth can be very helpful in establishing mutual understanding and creating a safe space between both of you.

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  Conversation starter
  • Tsen-Waye Tay  

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  This probably works differently for everyone, but one of the best things to do is to just share something about yourself, or talk about something neutral. Sometimes asking "how are you?" may be an overwhelming or loaded question to answer, and so we have to be discerning and see if they need space to answer it.

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  Is social anxiety considered a mental illness..?
  • eileen_953  

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  It does sound like your friend is feeling anxious and has a hard time coping with social situations, especially the ones she isn't used to. To be fair, interacting with strangers and giving presentations aren't exactly daily occurrences, so we can certainly empathise with your friend's anxiety! We aren't in a position to prescribe whether something is a disorder or a otherwise, but what we can see is that she needs some tools to cope better. As a friend, perhaps you could consider learning about anxiety and there are tonnes of helpful information from reputable sites, such as HelpGuide.com. Be encouraging without being pushy, be empathetic, and listen without judging. Another way to help your friend cope with a potentially stress-inducing social situation is perhaps checking out the location beforehand, arriving earlier, sitting at a safe comfortable space where she might be able to take "time out" or exit the event quietly.

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  asking after someone: when does it get too much?
  • Lin Yanqin  

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  Consolidated input OBW x Tapestry
  Consolidated input OBW x Tapestry
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  Definitely a legitimate concern! It's good that you are sensitive to your friends' needs.

  We believe that talking openly and being sensitive go hand-in-hand when checking in on your loved ones. If you're afraid of triggering them, or that your questions might seem intrusive, then encourage your friends to be honest with you.

  Accepting a simple "I don't feel like talking about it" can go a long way in building safe and respectful relationships. Don't be disheartened if they turn you down or ignore you when you check in on them, just accept and respect their answer - by checking in on them, they already know you care!
  Screen reader support enabled.

  Definitely a legitimate concern! It's good that you are sensitive to your friends' needs.

  We believe that talking openly and being sensitive go hand-in-hand when checking in on your loved ones. If you're afraid of triggering them, or that your questions might seem intrusive, then encourage your friends to be honest with you.

  Accepting a simple "I don't feel like talking about it" can go a long way in building safe and respectful relationships. Don't be disheartened if they turn you down or ignore you when you check in on them, just accept and respect their answer - by checking in on them, they already know you care!

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  Sadness vs depression
  • maitatoy  

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  It's important to know that depression and its effects differ greatly from person to person, so it's hard to give an absolute answer on the difference between sadness and depression. However, a good way to differentiate between a feeling of sadness vs clinical depression is to be aware of how much of your life is affected by low mood, despondence, hopelessness. A feeling of sadness is well, a feeling Feeling sad is a healthy way of responding to a situation, like losing a loved one, facing disappointment etc. Depression on the other hand has been described by some people as prolonged and unexplained sadness. According to the DSM-V (the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders https://www.psychiatry.org/psychiatrists/practice/dsm), this feeling of prolonged sadness lasts more than two weeks and adversely affects the way we live. Sometimes depression manifests itself as toxic physical and emotional behaviours. These behaviours can range from being unable to sleep or eat, eating or sleeping too much, suicidal thoughts, a lack of interest that is out of character, etc.

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  Language
  • maitatoy  

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  @thetapestryproject-sg I love this. Re-framing seems like a great way not only to help others but ourselves as well. I will try this! Thank you!

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  Self-care
  • lynnchan  

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  @thetapestryproject-sg I love how diverse the meaning of self-care is! You made me see how self-care is also self-defined. What replenishes one person may actually exhaust another! Interesting how we are all so different. My version of self-care is time in nature, taking a long walk. Most days I prefer being alone - that's my self-care. Every once in a while, I meet up with a friend whose company fills me - rather than empties me. That is self-care too.

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  I sense that someone I know has depression. How do I tactfully ask if they are diagnosed with the condition?
  • ajrianiasrul  

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  You're a good friend! Sometimes all it takes is just letting her know that you're there for her without really digging into the issues and risking coming off as "kaypoh". For people who are struggling, even answering simple questions like "how are you?" can be quite overwhelming, so it'll be good to just simply let her share when she's ready. A person will only share with someone whom they know is empathetic, non-judgemental and ready to listen, and is not a "fixer".

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  How are the mental wellness and medical professional banding together to educate mindfulness in Singapore?
  • ourbetterworld  

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  How to raise awareness of mental health in school? My children’s school has never organised any talks for students and parents about it. Can Limitless and OTR reach out to schools?
  • ourbetterworld  

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